Not Just A Matter Of Wormtail
by LiteratiAngel
Summary: A crime which started in my sixth year at Hogwarts and ended with the pain behind my old friend’s eyes as he searched for a reason to believe, trust and forgive." SiriusxOC New Chapter up! Reviews are love!
1. Chapter List

**Not Just A Matter Of Wormtail**

**Chapter List**

**A/N: This is my original chapter plan. You may find some fic spoilers in here but I'm hoping they're just tantalising hints for you all :)**

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**Prologue:** _A Phoenix From The Ashes_

**Chapter 1:** _What's So Great About Hufflepuff?_

**Chapter 2:** _Twin Differences_

**Chapter 3:** _Remember, You're A Prefect!_

**Chapter 4:** _Stupefy, Seekers And Spiders_

**Chapter 5:** _Classrooms Trysts Or Twists?_

**Chapter 6:** _Firewhisky Equals Clarity?_

**Chapter 7:** _Gryffindor Versus Hufflepuff_

**Chapter 8:** _Green-Eyed Padfoot_

**Chapter 9:** _Moonlit Admittances_

**Chapter 10:** _I Can Do Commitment!_

**Chapter 11:** _Lipstick And Christmas Bow Ties_

**Chapter 12:** _Reputation To Uphold_

**Chapter 13: **_Opening The Hufflepuff Door_

**Chapter 14:** _Salty Eyes_

**Chapter 15:** _Not Even Worth It_

**Chapter 16:** _Am I Enough?_

**Chapter 17:** _The Impossible Apology List_

**Chapter 18:** _Screaming At The Moon_

**Chapter 19:** _Bludgering Slytherins_

**Chapter 20:** _N.E.W.T.s And Other Amphibians_

**Chapter 21:** _What Happens Now?_

**Chapter 22:** _Aren't We A Bit Young For That?_

**Chapter 23:** _The Muggle Way_

**Chapter 24:** _Back To Old Habits_

**Chapter 25:** _Congrats, It's A Puppy!_

**Chapter 26:** _I Wish I Could See My Feet_

**Chapter 27:** _Naming Spells?_

**Chapter 28:** _Prophesising Godparents_

**Chapter 29:** _First Time For Everything_

**Chapter 30:** _In Order Of Disappearance_

**Chapter 31:** _Will You Be My Secret Keeper?_

**Chapter 32:** _Fiddling The Fidelius_

**Chapter 33:** _Wormtail? Really?_

**Chapter 34:**_ Survivor's Guilt_

**Chapter 35:** _Murder: Best Served Cold_

**Chapter 36:** _The Secret To Being Crazy_

**Chapter 37:** _Let Me Count The Ways_

**Chapter 38:** _Planning A Crossword_

**Chapter 39:** _How To Piss Off A Dementor_

**Chapter 40:** _He's At Hogwarts_

**Chapter 41:** _Nothing But The Memories_

**Chapter 42: **_Knot What I Had In Mind_

**Chapter 43:** _What If I Can't?_

**Chapter 44:** _Doppelganger Decisions_

**Chapter 45: **_Talons and Time Turners_

**Chapter 46:** _Guess Who's Back_

**Chapter 47:** _What's In A Name?_

**Chapter 48:** _Christmas With The Blacks_

**Chapter 49:** _Trouble Is My Middle Name!_

**Chapter 50:** _Is That All You've Got?_

**Epilogue:** _What Took You So Long?_


	2. Prologue: Phoenix From The Ashes

**Not Just A Matter Of Wormtail**

**Disclaimer: Ha! I wish!**

**Disclaimer Take Two: I don't own _'Tattoo'_, it belongs to Jordin Sparks.  
**

**A/N: So this is a little fic that I thought up whilst on a three week leave of absence (a.k.a. holiday) and it shows just how much of a labour of love this was for you guys 'cause I wrote it by hand (I wasn't anywhere near a computer!). I've seen a load of Sirius/Remus slash on here but for me, Sirius Black could never be gay, he's got too many womanising tendencies! So I decided to give him a relationship that is charted from his time at Hogwarts and has so much impact on him to make him as bitter as he was after escaping from Askaban. "Why Sirius?" I hear you say? Well, because if there's ever a crush that I've had on anyone from the HP books, it's Sirius Black. No question!**

**A/N Take Two: This is my first attempt at a long fic. If my original plan holds out, it'll be about 52 chapters long and I hope you enjoy it. **

**A/N Take Three: I'll shut up after this, honest! Just remember, people, reviews equal love but please try and keep the flames to a minimum 'cause I know Hagrid lurves dragons but I'm not exactly a fan of Hungarian Horntails.**  
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_I can't waste time so give it a moment  
I realize, nothing's broken  
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done  
Live every second like it was my last one  
_

_Don't look back at a new direction  
I loved you once, needed protection  
You're still a part of everything I do  
You're on my heart just like a tattoo_

_**Tattoo-Jordin Sparks**_

~*~

Prologue: Phoenix From The Ashes

Despite my thirteen years in Askaban, I only have one tattoo.

Stretching across my left bicep, a jet-black phoenix rises from the flames. I did it myself-a permanent masochistic punishment-'cause the dementors aren't exactly forthcoming when it comes to doing favours for their inmates.

A reminder of the one thing that made my pathetic excuse for an existence worth anything at all. In the end, a reminder of everything I have lost; my freedom, my friends, and the love of my life-my ebony phoenix.

I should explain that my phoenix isn't a phoenix at all. It is…_was _a woman. The most beautiful and fiery woman I have ever known. Moony always said she had to be to hold my interest but in all honesty, she didn't have to _do_ or _be_ anything because I was already caught. Hook, line and sinker.

An addiction that fuelled my life and caused her death.

In truth, although I am not responsible for the crime that I was imprisoned for, I deserved to spend my life in Askaban because I am guilty of a much more terrible crime. A crime which started in my sixth year at Hogwarts and ended with the pain behind my old friend's eyes as he searched for a reason to believe, trust and forgive.

It killed me. I wouldn't have felt the Dementor's Kiss.


	3. What's So Great About Hufflepuff?

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'U + Ur Hand'_, it belongs to P!nk.**

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_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_You don't really wanna mess with me tonight,_

_Just stop and take a second  
_

_I was fine until you walked into my life_

_**U + Ur Hand – P!nk**_

~*~

What's So Great About Hufflepuff?

If there's ever a Hogwarts House that no one wants to get sorted into, it's Hufflepuff. Who cares about being a good friend and hard working when you could be in Gryffindor-with the bravest of the brave-, Ravenclaw-_"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"_-or Slytherin-with the most conniving bastards in the school.

Ok, so Slytherin _is_ pretty unpopular but it still sounds more exciting than _Hufflepuff!_ Even the _name_ sounds twee and fluffy!

'Scuse the bitterness, it's nothing personal. I get like this every year.

So, I should probably introduce myself, right? Well, I'm Ebony Lupin and I'm in my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (too much? You kinda knew that already, didn't you?). Anyway, I'm not on my own here-I've got a twin brother. His name's Remus (I know what you're thinking; _"Ebony and Remus?"_ Oh yeah, my parents flipped the baby name books to odd pages) and he's a…_Gryffindor! _You _so_ thought I was gonna say something outrageous like _'werewolf'_ then, didn't you?

So, anyway…where was I before all the slightly pointless introductions? Oh yeah, _Hufflepuff._ That's the House I'm in. I get kinda pissed off 'cause my brother sits with the cool gang over at the Gryffindor table and I'm stuck with the Macmillans and Abbots of the world. But I'll tell you what _really_ annoys me…_The Marauders. _I mean, what sort of gang gives themselves a name like _that?_ Ok, so my brother's part of that gang and I'm _supposed_ to take the mick but still, it's a pretty stupid name. Well…that and they all think of me as their little sister or something equally embarrassing just because Remus is a minute older than me! _A minute!_ That's enough reason to be pissed off with their little gang, right? _Wrong._ Not only do they have a stupid name, are friends with my brother and think of me as their little sis, but one of their members is an actual _God. Of. Sex._ Seriously (or should that be _Siriusly?_ Ok, the joke will make sense in a minute!), you think I'm kidding but I'm most definitely _not._

Sirius Black; official deflower…er of 99% of the girls in our year. The one percent being _me. _He's never even _looked_ at me in that way. At least, that's what I _thought…_

~*~

"_Hurry up, Eby! We'll miss the train!"_

"_I'm going as fast as I can, Ree! It's a bit difficult to navigate when an owl cage is impairing your vision!"_ I complained, struggling with my baggage trolley and hitching my barn owl's cage into the crook of my arm.

Remus laughed and grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop wrestling with the cage. "Relax! _I'll take Emmy until we're through the barrier."_

"_Thanks, Ree, you're a life saver!"_

_Hey, what are big brothers for if not to carry their little sister's owl?" _he chuckled teasingly, picking up the cage and sprinting through the barrier.

When I joined him on Platform 9¾, I hit him playfully for his 'big brother' comment, 'cause he knows how much it bugs me. We joined up with his friends as we unloaded our luggage and climbed onto the train. Remus gave them all a hug and then began a conversation with Peter Pettigrew. James (Potter, that is. My ex-boyfriend, by the way!) was busy eating Lily Evans' face so he was a no-go conversation-wise too, which left me with…

"_Black…"_

"_Lupin…" _For some reason, whenever we're around each other, we tend to forget that someone invented first names.

"_Good summer?"_

"_Sure. Mrs Potter's cooking only improves. And yourself?" _Was he actually being _pleasant?_

"_Fine. Got a new broom…So, how many girls got 'accidentally' locked in the broom cupboard with you _this_ summer?" _I don't know why I said it. It just slipped out. Honest!

'_Ouch, Lupin! Two seconds into the conversation and you're already trying to insult me…that must be a new record!"_ He feigned offence but then his trademark smirk crept over his face, _"And for your information, there were four but I can assure you that we were very _deliberately _locked in."_

"_Trust you, Black." _I said disapprovingly but I was smiling slightly (in what I _hoped_ was an attractive manner…)

"_I wish you did!" _he chuckled. _"Train's moving. We'd better find a compartment before the Slytherins steal them all." _He turned to his best friend, tapping him on the shoulder, _"James. Come up for air for a second. We've gotta move."_

James grunted but extricated himself from Lily's grasp. She spotted me and grinned sheepishly, as if trying to excuse herself for lip-locking with my ex. As if I actually cared. Well, I _thought_ I didn't but that was before she started making a big deal out of it so I said; _"I'll go on ahead and see if anywhere's free" _and wandered off in search of an empty compartment.

~*~

I got about halfway down the carriage before I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and saw a seventh year Slytherin heading in my direction. Emerson Zabini is a Slytherin beater and has one of the worst reputations in the entire school. What the hell does he want with _me?_

"_Hey, E-bon-y…" _He dragged my name out until it was distinctly three syllables. He was actually trying to be _seductive. Oh god._

"_What's the hurry, Ebony?" _He had me pressed up against a compartment window, his hand on my wand arm.

"_Trying to get away from _you _actually, Zabini."_

"_Really? Why's that?" _He sounded mildly interested.

"'_Cause in case you hadn't noticed, you're ridiculously huge and you're crushing me against a window…" _I croaked. He released me slightly and I exhaled loudly, freeing my ribs.

"_Better?" _I nodded. _"Good. Now, Ebony, how about_ you _agree to go Hogsmead with _me_ this term?"_

"_Why would I do _that_, Zabini?"_

"_Why? Because I'm asking you to and it would be _rude_ to say no." _His weight came down on me again, reinforcing the menacing tone of his words.

"_Well deal with it." _I muttered through gritted teeth, pushing him off me as much strength as I could muster. _"Bullying toe-rags don't interest me." _And I stalked off.

"_Not so fast, Lupin!" _I turned and reached for my wand but not quite fast enough.

"_Impedimenta!" _he shouted, making a slashing movement across my chest. Everything went black.


	4. Twin Differences

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'Just For'_, it belongs to the amazing Nickelback.**

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_I want to take his eyes out  
Just for looking at you  
Yes I do  
I want to take his hands off  
Just for touching you  
Yes I do_

_**Just For - Nickelback**_

~*~

Twin Differences

Remus and I may be twins but we are most definitely _not_ identical (just in case you couldn't tell by the fact that I'm a girl and he's a boy!).

Remus is tall, skinny and bookish with mousy brown hair and grey-blue eyes. He's quiet, with a friendly demeanour and a thirst for knowledge. He would've done well in _Hufflepuff._

_I_ on the other hand, am medium height, slim (but not without curves!), with long ebony hair (I know, _ironic,_ right?) and almost electric blue eyes. I'm the polar opposite to Ree personality-wise too: I'm more of a _doer_ than a _thinker_ and my temper (which is pretty fiery under the best of circumstances) gets the better of me a lot of the time, as Zabini found out to his misfortune…

~*~

When I _finally_ came round, I heard a sickening crunch and an angry voice shouting;

"_If you even so much as lay a _wand_ on her again, Zabini, I swear to Merlin that you'll know exactly _what_ is hitting you. _Your_ problem is gonna be figuring _how many_ bludgers are bashing your face in!"_

I figured that it was probably just my brother being protective and blearily opened my eyes.

"_Eby! Are you ok?" _Remus asked, visibly agitated. I tried to sit up and winced at the pain across my ribs.

"_Just _peachy._" _I muttered sarcastically as I struggled into a standing position. I was just in time to see Zabini's retreating figure and I grabbed my wand and made to follow him but Remus and another pair of hands held me back. In ordinary circumstances, I would've known those hands_ anywhere_ but at that moment in time, I was a bit preoccupied with struggling against their grip and yelling; _"Let me hex that good-for-nothing sonofaboggart! I'd like to see him turn on the charm when he has to talk out of his arse!"_

"_Newsflash, sweetheart," _came a low chuckle from behind me, _"he already _does!_"_

"_I don't care, Black! Just let me hex the slimy toad!"_

"_Jeez, Lupin! What happened _before_ he hexed you? 'Cause this isn't just anger at being caught off guard, is it? I don't think I've seen you _this_ livid since last year when Malfoy…" _His voice trailed off and then, _"He asked you out, didn't he?"_

I nodded ferociously and Sirius laughed.

"_That idiotic slimeball made a move on you? Didn't he learn when Malfoy ended up walking around with a rabbit's tail for three weeks?" _he asked incredulously.

"_Apparently not," _said Remus, smiling as my shoulders slumped, defeated. _"What _is_ it with you and Slytherins at the moment, Eby? They seem to be queuing up to fall at your feet…quite literally!" _he teased.

Sirius gave his barking laugh again and said; _"Oh come off it, Moony! You may be her brother but even _you _can't fail to notice that Lupin here has grown into _quite_ the sexy little pureblood over the past year!"_

I hit him. I don't like to be teased, _especially_ not by Sirius Black.

~*~

As I expected, word about my almost-duel with Zabini was 'hushed-up' fairly quickly, meaning that when we reached the castle, _everyone_ was discussing it. Unfortunately, this also meant that the teachers knew too and McGonagall caught up with me before I could sneak into the Great Hall.

"_Lupin! Hold on a minute, girl!" _I stopped 'cause I knew there was no way she would believe that I had gone temporarily deaf. She stalked over to me-it's often amazed me how she can still move like a cat at her age-and said sternly, _"What's all this I hear you and Zabini duelling on the train, Lupin?"_

"_Well, Professor, I…"_

"_Excuse me, Professor, but Ebony didn't duel with Zabini at all. He hexed her while her back was turned."_

I gaped at him. Not only had he used my _first name_ but he was also defending me! Sirius Black was trying to be my knight in shining armour!

"_These are very serious allegations, Black! I'm not entirely sure if you're in the position to make them, considering that Professor Slughorn is bandying the phrase 'broken nose' around! Is Black's story true, Miss Lupin?"_

I nodded-whilst trying to work out how 'Sirius' and 'broken nose' went together (since his nose looked as haughtily perfect as always)-and McGonagall waved me away towards the feast.

As I walked in and sat down in my usual place, I looked across at Zabini. His pretty boy nose looked decidedly crooked.

~*~

"_How'd Zabini's nose get smashed up?" _I asked Remus later as we munched on apple pie (I had managed to sneak over to the Gryffindor table without being spotted).

"_You don't know?" _He sounded surprised. I looked at him incredulously.

"_Remus, if I _knew_, do you honestly think I'd be asking?"_

"_No, I suppose not. I'm just surprised, that's all. I mean, you _were_ there when it happened."_

I studied him for a moment, gauging his expression and then I remembered the horrible crunching sound I had heard on the train.

"_Remus John Lupin! You _didn't?_" _I exclaimed but he laughed and mimicked me.

"_Ebony Astoria-Anne Lupin!" _(What can I say? My parents have taken weird names to a _whole_ new level!) _"Do you _honestly_ think that I'd have enough self control to stop at just his _nose_, what with my 'furry little problem'?" _I giggled.

I forgot to mention that Remus actually _is_ a werewolf (sorry about that!). It was James' idea to give it a cutesy nickname 'cause while we were going out, I'd complained to him that we couldn't talk about full moon if we needed to (the Marauders are animangi so that Remus doesn't have to deal with it all alone), and lo and behold, 'furry little problem' was born! It kinda makes it sound like he owns a vicious rabbit or something.

"_Ok, so who bloodied him, then?"_

"_That's Sirius' handiwork."_

"Black?" I was half-expecting it after McGonagall's comments but even so, I was surprised. Since when was Black responsible for defending my honour?

"_Yeah. It was pretty scary to be honest, Eb. He actually threatened Zabini with a bludgered face if he ever laid a wand on you again. I expect he's getting several months worth of detentions right now but it was well worth it."_

I was grateful when Dumbledore dismissed us and I hurried up to the Hufflepuff dormitories, desperate to avoid having to exchange pleasantries with anyone. I had too much to think about…

~*~

At breakfast the next morning, the Heads of House handed out our N.E.W.T lesson timetables and I wandered over to Remus and the gang to compare them.

"_Urgh, double Potions every Monday morning!" _I complained.

"_You too, huh?" _asked Sirius, indicating his schedule. I scanned it quickly and then looked back at my own. They were identical.

"You_ want to be an auror, Black?" _I questioned incredulously.

"_Well don't say it like_ that_, Lupin. It's better than training up to be a Death Eater, isn't it? At least I have to learn a bit more than how to _mean_ the Cruciatus Curse," _he said bitterly.

I shuddered and backed down. If anyone knows about Death Eaters, it's Sirius Black. He's the only one in his entire family who isn't a Slytherin and his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, was first in line to join You-Know-Who's forces (if you don't _Know-Who_, where have you been living? A cave?) and his younger brother, Regulus, looks set to follow in her footsteps.

"_Sorry, I was just surprised that you wanted all the extra work, that's all." _He laughed at that.

"_What kind of slacker do you take me for, Lupin?"_

"_Um…a lazy one?" I retorted._

"_Touché" _he said quietly, chuckling as James exclaimed,_ "She's got you there, Padfoot!" _and clapped him on the back before returning to his previous task (a.k.a. Lily Evans' dental check-up!).

Sirius got up and proffered an arm; _"Shall we?" _I smiled.

"_Sure, but unless your usual nameless bimbo is gonna be hanging onto that arm, I suggest you put it down before I curse it off."_

He did but looked confused until I poked my tongue out at him and ran out of the Great Hall.

~*~

When we reached the Potions dungeon, we found that we were early. There was a huddle of Slytherins stood to the left of the door but they were too interested in their conversation to notice us.

"…_well, she may _act_ feisty but she didn't look so tough after I'd hexed her out of consciousness!" _exclaimed Zabini. All the Slytherins laughed as he did a rather accurate impression of me keeling over backwards but Sirius tensed beside me, his knuckles flexing. Zabini continued; _"I'd like to see how tough she is without Black there to protect her!"_

"_Wish granted" _I said, pointing my wand at his chest. I was _seething._

"_Ebony! Now, come on, beautiful, I don't want to have to send you to the Hospital Wing…" _His voice was slimy, full of arrogant malice. Sirius let out a low growl of warning, his eyes looked murderous.

"_Really? 'Cause I've got no qualms about doing that to you!"_

"_Promises, promises," _he crooned. _"Come off it, Lupin. You're all talk, no action. No wonder Malfoy said you were a frigid little bitch!"_ Sirius drew his wand but I forced him back as Zabini advanced.

"_Get a grip, Black," _he snarled, _"she's not interested in _you_. You played the boyfriend yesterday and the only reward you got was two months of detentions!"_

"_Back off, Zabini. He's more of a man than you'll _ever_ be. This is _our_ fight and I can promise you that if you take one more step, you will _seriously _regret it." _I threatened. He looked at me challengingly.

"_Do your worst, Lupin," _he said, and he took a step forward, smirking nastily.

"_Ok, Zabini, you've pushed me _too_ far, you little weasel! Make like a ferret…" _I flicked my wand and Zabini was transfigured into a fluffy white ferret, _"…and _bounce!_"_

The Zabini-ferret began to bounce up and down in sync with my wand movements.

"_That. Will. Teach. You. To. Hex. Me. You. Bastard!" _I spat through gritted teeth. I was aware of Sirius collapsing with laughter behind me as the Slytherins stared in fearful awe and the Zabini-ferret continued to bounce until…

"_Ebony Lupin! Put that ferret down now and get yourself up to the Headmaster's office!"_


	5. Remember, You're A Prefect!

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'Hate To Say I Told You So'_-it belongs to The Hives-I merely aspire to Howlin' Pelle Almquist's amazing frontmanship skills!**

**A/N:Ok, so the title of this chapter is a little bit of a piss-take, if I'm honest...I just felt the need for a nostalgic Wombles moment.**

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_Hate to say I told you so.  
Alright.  
Come on.  
Do believe I told you so.  
Now it's all out and you knew,  
'Cause I wanted to._

_**Hate To Say I Told You So – The Hives**_

Remember, You're A Prefect!

Despite my temper issues, I've not had that many detentions at Hogwarts.

I mean, ok, Filch is always trying to have me flogged for _something_-the 'something' usually being Potter or Black's handiwork-and then there was the whole debacle with Malfoy's furry backside last year but really, he had it coming!

So, overall, I'm a good girl (or just good at not getting caught-whatever floats your broomstick) but I still never understood why Dumbledore decided to appoint _me_ as a prefect. Then again, I suppose he needed a Hufflepuff prefect who _isn't_ a total pushover.

I had a sneaking suspicion that his opinion might change after Zabini turned up in the Hospital Wing with a severe concussion and started shedding white fur everywhere!

~*~

Dumbledore's office is the weirdest place in the entire school (and that's saying something!). He has odd collections of ornaments stacked treacherously on spindly tables but somehow they _still_ manage to stand up (ah, the wonders of magic!)!

He wasn't in when I arrived so I wandered around until I reached the golden-plumed bird in the corner nearest to the window.

"_Hello, Fawkes," _I crooned softly as I stroked its feathered head. I've always had a fondness for phoenixes, probably because they're fiery, like my temper.

"_Your patronus is a phoenix, is it not, Miss Lupin?"_ came a quiet voice from behind me.

I had a horrible feeling that I should have been sitting waiting for him but Dumbledore's blue eyes were twinkling at me and then he said, _"I have been informed by Professor Slughorn that you turned Mr Zabini into a ferret."_

I was sure that I could hear a hint of amusement in his voice but I decided that it would be a good idea to try and defend myself.

"_Professor, I was provoked! Zabini was joking around about…" _I started, but Dumbledore waved a hand to stop me.

His eyes bored into me over his half-moon spectacles and he said, _"That was a very impressive piece of transfiguration, Miss Lupin. Even more impressive than Mr Malfoy's rabbit tail last year, although admittedly not quite as amusing."_

"_Um…thank you, Sir." _He nodded in acknowledgement and there was silence until I finally plucked up the courage to ask my question.

"_Sir?"_

"_Yes, Miss Lupin?"_

"_Am I in trouble?" _I realised how childish it sounded and was instantly glad that Sirius wasn't around to hear me. _He_ wouldn't have sounded so ridiculous.

"_Oh, I should think so," _replied Dumbledore cheerfully. _Professor Slughorn has suggested a period of suspension but I think that a couple of detentions should appease Horace. He has always has a penchant for dramatics, after all."_

"_Thank you, Sir!"_ I exclaimed, relieved.

"_But in the future, please try to control your temper and remember that you are a prefect, Miss Lupin. I don't want you to give the first years any false impressions."_

"_Yes, Sir. It won't happen again." 'Hopefully'_, I added mentally.

"_Good. You may go…Ebony."_

~*~

Thanks to my little sojourn in Dumbledore's office, I was late for Defence Against the Dark Arts (DADA for those in the know). I made my excuses to Professor Perrell and slid into the seat next to Remus.

"_So, just how dead are you?"_ he asked. I looked at him quizzically, wondering how he knew.

"_Sirius filled me in. Probably not the best idea, Eby" _he said, answering my silent question.

"_He deserved it," _I muttered. _"Slughorn was all for having me suspended but Dumbledore reckoned it was really good magic so I got off with a warning and a couple of detentions."_

"_Well, aren't _you_ a lucky girl!" _Sirius said in a low voice, leaning across Remus to talk to me. _"You get to keep _me_ company!"_

I rolled my eyes and got on with disorientating my Hinkypunk.

~*~

The note informing me of the time of my first detention arrived during Charms the next day.

"_Looks like Padfoot was right,"_ muttered James, his hand brushing against mine as he reached for the bullfrog that he was supposed to be silencing (in reality, he had managed to levitate it onto my textbook!). I felt disgusted with myself that such a familiar gesture from James Potter still managed to give me chills.

"_It happens occasionally," _I conceded. _"What pearl of wisdom has he come up with this time?"_

"_You'll be keeping him company in detention tonight," _James replied, tossing a piece of screwed up parchment at me. I scanned it and groaned, despite the fact that the butterflies in my stomach were doing the conga. Or maybe _because_ of that.

Tonight was going to be _hell!_

~*~

When 8 o'clock came, I was standing the Entrance Hall, waiting.

I wasn't entirely sure what punishment I was in for-on account of the fact that detentions at Hogwarts ranged from writing lines, to cleaning all the bedpans in the Hospital Wing (without magic!), to scrubbing Polyjuice Potion off the dungeon floor-so when Sirius _finally_ made an appearance, closely followed by Filch, I was nervous to say the least.

Sirius winked at me but I was too concerned with Filch's malicious grin (and its possible ramifications) to acknowledge it.

"_I wouldn't go looking so pleased with meself, if I were you," _he sneered, addressing Sirius. _"You lucky blighters are going int'er the Forrest! Professor Slughorn's personal request-you're ter go hunting for unicorn hair."_

_Suddenly, Sirius didn't look quite so cheerful…_


	6. Stupefy, Seekers And Spiders

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'Nothing Lasts Forever'_, it belongs to the awesome band that is Maroon 5.**

**A/N: Ok, so according to the spell-checker on Word, I may have made up the word _'Aphroditian'_ but if I have, it just basically is a reference to the fact that Adonis was Aphrodite's lover.**

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_Tough, we have not hit the ground,_

_It doesn't mean we're not still falling._

_Oh, I want so bad to pick you up_

_But you're still too reluctant to accept my help,_

_What a shame,_

_I hope you find somewhere to place the blame._

**_Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon 5  
_**

Stupefy, Seekers and Spiders

I've got very few weaknesses; at least, I like to _think_ so. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, there are only three things that really screw up my mentality; spiders, the stunning spell, and Sirius Black, and in the interest of full disclosure, I should probably explain why.

My fear of spiders started at a very early age. Remus has grown up a lot since the um…_'incident'_ with Greyback, but when we were little kids, he was more of a joker than James and Sirius combined.

The wizard next door had an odd taste in pets-his house was practically a 'zoo' (that's some strange muggle attraction, by the way) for magical creatures, at least, before the Chimera burnt it down, that is! His prize possession was a female acromantula (that's 'giant spider' for those of you who didn't pay attention in DADA!) and its eggs, and Remus decided that it would be a funny idea to steal one of the eggs, stick it in my sandpit and see what the mother would do.

It turned out that what the mother did was break out of her cage and into our back garden to get it back.

What you really _don't_ want to see when you're four and playing in your sandpit is an enormous spider with eight huge, hairy legs and sixteen piercing eyes advancing on you, clicking its pincers ferociously. I was totally frozen to the spot, convinced that it was going to eat me. When I finally made a move, I grabbed Remus' toy broomstick and zoomed off, which was quite an impressive feat since it only lifted about a foot off the ground!

To cut a long story short, she got her egg back and Remus was sentenced to a week of hard labour (a.k.a. washing dishes, cleaning his room, dusting, etc.). I didn't speak to him for the whole week but I suppose I should thank him really. I'm absolutely terrified of anything that even remotely resembles a spider now but, thanks to my little excursion on his broom, I discovered that I'm a natural flier. I've been the Hufflepuff seeker since my second year at Hogwarts.

Incidentally, it was in my second year that I discovered my problem with the stunning spell. It's not quite as exciting as a seven-foot acromantula attacking you but it still bugs me (no pun intended…honest!) and links in with the beginning of my problems with Sirius.

In second year, most of my lessons were with the Gryffindors, which is how I ended up hanging around with the Marauders. My favourite lesson has always been DADA (despite the fact that I _rock_ transfiguration!) but Professor Covene, our teacher that year, decided to experiment with some muggle teaching methods and created something called a 'seating plan'. I had to sit next to Sirius Black.

For any other girl, that would've been a dream come true. Sirius has always been beyond gorgeous (and that's putting it mildly!), with the sort of careless perfection that you really have to _work_ for.

When I was younger and 'Tales of Beedle the Bard' had begun to bore me, I read muggle books. Greek mythology was always my favourite because it's close enough to my world to be believable and distant enough to hold some mystery. I particularly enjoyed stories of the Greek Gods, and whenever I think of Sirius Black, I think of them.

To me, he's a mixture of Zeus; the consummate womaniser, Adonis; the handsome Aphroditian lover and Hades; the tempting devil on everyone's shoulder.

But now I'm getting philosophical and that is one thing that Black most definitely _isn't_, so I'll get back to my original point, which was…? Oh yeah, so any girl would've risked Askaban for a chance to take my place but quite frankly, I would rather have been anywhere _but_ that seat 'cause I wanted to keep my grades up and he's one hell of a distraction!

One particular lesson, Covene decided that we were advanced enough to learn stunning spells. In theory, it's a pretty simple defensive spell; a swish-and-flick wand movement and a clear incantation (_"Stupefy!"_) but in reality? Oh no, in reality, it's the most difficult spell I've ever had to attempt!

We were supposed to practice with our partners and a pile of strategically placed cushions ('cause you tend to lose control of your limbs when you've just been stunned!). Sirius went first. He may be a slacker but despite it, he knows his stuff and I was out cold after about two minutes of careful wandwork (almost a record for a second year student!). The effect of the stunning spell can only be described as _odd._ It's kind of like being hit on the head by a heavy club whilst someone pours cold water down the back of your neck.

Then, of course, it was my turn so I swished-and-flicked with my wand but as I said the incantation, my brain seemingly decided that it was a good time to turn into mush and all I could concentrate on was how attractive his cocky smile was, and apparently, that's a very good mental block against stunning someone! Wanna know how I know that? 'Cause it's now four years later and I _still_ can't stun anything to save my life (rather ironic considering that I might actually _need_ it to save my life at some point!) 'cause every time I try, _he_ floats into my mind and completely puts me off!

But that's just _one_ example of how Sirius screws with my mind, and I had a feeling that our detention together would end up creating another problem. I should've taken Divination, 'cause it's amazing how psychic I am sometimes…

~*~

The Forbidden Forest works hard to earn its name. Mere image isn't enough (although the huge foreboding trees and hanging fronds that tap you on the shoulder every time you turn your back are enough to freak _anyone_ out!), oh no, it has to create a cacophony of creepy sounds (creaks, snaps, snuffles, scutters, taps-you name it, the Forbidden Forest has got it!), and a myriad of smells, ranging from Stinksap to dragon's blood!

So, all that considered, I _really_ didn't want to go hunting for _anything_ in there! But, seemingly, what Slughorn wants, Slughorn gets, and I'm pretty sure that Filch derived some sort of perverse pleasure from thrusting (I don't use this word lightly!) Sirius and me into the trees.

I was about to comment on this to Sirius when he spoke.

"_Well then, Little Miss Seeker, looks like it'll be an easy job for you. We shouldn't be more than an hour or so with your eyesight!" _He actually sounded _cheerful!_

I was about to challenge him, when I saw something dangling from the leaf next to me by a silvery thread. Eight dainty legs dancing around a swollen body and a cluster of black, bead-like eyes. I froze.

After about a minute, I noticed Sirius watching me intently.

"_Do you know," _he said conversationally, breaking the silence, _"I don't think I've ever seen you looking scared before."_

I tried to glower at him but I was too aware of the spider moving out of the corner of my eye, so it came across more like a deer caught in headlights.

Pretty soon, he became aware of what I was staring at and began to laugh.

"Spiders?_ I would've thought you had more backbone than _that_, Lupin!"_

I mumbled something incoherent about sandpits and eggs and realisation dawned across his face. _Of course_ Remus had told him about it, I mean, it's not like it's _embarrassing_ or anything. _Urgh._

At that moment, however, Sirius reached out and brushed the spider away from my shoulder and my anger at Remus' big mouth flew out of the hypothetical window.

His hand lingered on my shoulder for longer than was strictly necessary and I was about to shrug it off and tell him to start looking for the unicorn hair when he did something totally unexpected (although knowing Sirius Black and his playboy tendencies, I probably shouldn't have been _quite_ so surprised!)

His hand stroked my neck carelessly. Soft, light whirling movements along my jugular. His fingers ghosted along my earlobe before twining into my hair. His palm traced my cheekbone and his dark eyes glittered as he moved closer…

I'd been kissed before, but never like Sirius was about to. He's a consummate seducer and he knows how to make the anticipation even headier than the kiss itself.

I said goodbye to my brain as I felt it dissolve into goo and I leaned towards him, desperate to close the gap between us-my first proper move since I had spotted the spider. It seemed like an age ago.

Before our lips met, my brain did a strange thing-it switched my common sense on! Suddenly, my mind was fighting a raging battle with my lips, which seemed to have taken on a life of their own and weren't going to sit around debating whether or not I wanted to become yet _another_ of Sirius Black's conquests.

Eventually (or at least, what _felt_ like eventually to me), common sense triumphed and I pulled away.

"_We s-should pr-probably start looking for the un-unic-corn hair…"_ I whispered shakily.

He looked questioningly at me but released me and drew his wand, muttering _"Lumos!"_ and his wand lit up the path in front of us.

"_This way," _he said tersely.

~*~

I kept as far ahead of him as I could manage. All I had to do was keep my eyes peeled for the silver clumps of hair that clung to the hanging branches. With my seeker's eyesight, it was easier to find than it would have been if Sirius had been on his own, meaning that it took less time (thank Merlin for _that!_). His only job was to make sure that the path in front of us was lit up enough for me to see, while I collected the hair.

I'd collected enough to placate Slughorn after about an hour and a half of wandering around. It was then that Sirius decided to be an idiot.

"_Nox" _he whispered, and the light at the tip of his wand died.

"_What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, Black? It's too dark to arse around!"_

"_Jeez, Lupin, I was just having a bit of fun!"_

"_We don't have a clue how far into the Forest we've gone! We could be _anywhere!_" _I wasn't wrong. It was so dark in the trees that not even the moonlight was visible.

"_You know what, Lupin? Remove the stick from your arse, then we can talk." _Conceited git.

"_As if I'd want to." _I retorted.

"_Didn't seem to have a problem with it when you tried to kiss me."_

"Me?_ You seem to be suffering from selective amnesia, Black. It was _you_ who tried to kiss _me. _Light your wand again, I don't want to spend any more time with you than I have to."_

He fumbled in his pocket for his wand and muttered, _"Lumos." _The light illuminated the clearing we were stood in.

"_There. Happy now, Lupin?" _he asked sarcastically. When I didn't answer, he finally turned to look at me…and saw what I was staring at…

"_Holy mother of Merlin's saggy left…"_

Staring at it, I was four years old again. My insides froze up and even when Sirius grabbed my hand and tried to drag me away, I couldn't even register the contact of his skin on mine. The whole world dissolved to leave just me and hundreds of huge black eyes.

I forced myself to move, fumbling for my wand as the acromantula advanced…

"_St-tup-pefy!" _Nothing happened. Darn and blast that Sirius Black (well, ok, so my choice of words were _slightly_ more colourful, but whatever)! I tried again whilst backing away but the most I could manage were a couple of purple sparks. In the end, I gave up, closing my eyes in defeat. It was then that I felt warm fingers close around my hand and a strong, clear voice shouting, _"Stupefy!"_

There was a huge crash that nearly brought down two trees, but I didn't have time to think about it because Sirius was pulling me through the forest. I don't know exactly how long we ran for-all I could feel was the pounding of our feet on the ground and the touch of his hand on mine.

As we came out into the moonlight, I wrenched my hand from his and turned on him.

"_You…you…you…oh, you know what? I don't even have the words to describe how much of an _idiot_ you are!" _He sprang back from my tirade.

"_Hey, talk about gratitude! In case you hadn't noticed, I just saved your life!"_

"_I could've saved my own life if it wasn't for you!"_

"_Oh yeah? If I hadn't miraculously popped up out of nowhere, you would've been able to perform a stunning spell on a _ten-foot acromantula_, huh?"_

"_No, if you hadn't been _born_ I would've been able to perform a stunning spell full stop!"_

"_What the _hell_, Lupin?" _He was acting confused but he _had_ to know the effect he has on me!

"_You heard me! I would've done just fine if you hadn't been around in second year, screwing with my mind!" _

"_Oh come off it! Just because you can't do _one_ spell, doesn't automatically make it _my_ fault!" _I knew he was trying to reason with me but I was beyond it.

"_No, you're right…_you_ made it your fault! You've been screwing with me ever since the first day I met you! Why can't you just leave me alone, huh? Is it just because I'm the only girl in the year who isn't enough of a slut to want to get into your pants?" _I screamed at him. I was so angry; I just wanted to hurt him. His cocky smile nearly got me killed.

I hadn't run out of steam yet but I didn't get a chance to finish my tirade because Sirius's body slammed into me, his lips crashing forcefully against mine, like a drowning man clutching at the air. It was incredible.

All the things that a kiss shouldn't be and yet it was perfect. I never wanted it to end…but I knew it had to.


	7. Classroom Trysts Or Twists?

**Disclaimer: I don't own _'Dirty Little Secret'_, it belongs to the awesome band that is All-American Rejects.**

**A/N: Kudos to Jamie for the Quidditch kiss scene; you're my rock when it comes to Writer's Block (Ooh! That rhymes!). Thanks for being the star that you are (and again...sorry for the gratuitous poetry!).  
**

**...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
**

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret, _

_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret,_

_My dirty little secret, _

_Who has to know?_

_**Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects**  
_

Classroom Trysts Or Twists?

Boys have never really been my strong point. I'm good at being _just mates_ with them, if I'm being totally honest. And that's exactly what I am-just mates, not honest…well, I'm honest too but…well, you get the picture! I've not had many boyfriends. I'm always being asked out but it always seems to be that I attract what my mother would call _the wrong sort of guy_. Players, commitment-phobes, incommunicados, you name it; I've been asked out by it.

Take Lucius Malfoy, for example. If I were a Gryffindor like Ree, he wouldn't dream of even _looking_ at me with anything less than a death glare, but since I'm a Hufflepuff, apparently that makes me fair game for every conniving, horny Slytherin going!

So I'm picky, and as a result, I've only ever had three boyfriends during my time at Hogwarts; George Clearwater (because not _all _Ravenclaws are stuck-up pricks…no pun intended!), Frank Longbottom (the thinking woman's heartthrob), and last but not least, _James Potter _(Quidditch Chaser extraordinaire). He was my first love.

I can remember everything about my relationship with James. He asked me out at the beginning of fourth year. We were sat on the train and he just asked me…in front of _everyone!_ Of course, Sirius spent the rest of the week either giving me weird looks, or throwing suggestive winks in my general direction, but since this particular part of my pointless back-story has nothing to do with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Mentioned-This-Side-Of-The-Grave, or his mood swings, we'll forget about him and go back to talking about the all-star Quidditch demi-god…

We went to Hogsmead for our first official date (although we had several _'practice'_ dates before that!). It was snowing and we were both wrapped up in our cloaks, but instead of following the usual Hogwarts dating etiquette and taking me to The Three Broomsticks or Madam Puddifoot's, James had to go above and beyond the call of duty, as usual, and we ended up at the Shrieking Shack.

It's always so peaceful up there. Everyone's terrified of it so it's perpetually deserted. Of course, James and I knew better-nothing to worry about when it's your _brother_ doing all the creepy howling and you know that you've still got two weeks until full moon (thank Merlin for Astronomy-Sinestra would be proud!)-so for us, there was nothing more perfect than sitting on a blanket in the snow next to the building that the Daily Prophet has dubbed 'the most haunted building in Britain', and enjoying some warm Butterbeer.

Out first kiss was _intense_, to say the least. The first Quidditch match of the season was, as per tradition, Gryffindor versus Slytherin. We were an hour into play and the teams were neck and neck until James finally managed to sneak past Flint and threw the Quaffle through the centre hoop, scoring an extra ten points and putting Gryffindor into the lead. Unfortunately, Malfoy (whoever chose _him _to be the Slytherin Seeker must have had _way _too much Firewhiskey!) took James' goal as an opportunity to look for the Snitch and spotted it hovering next to Zabini's ear…well, when I say _'hovering'_, what I really mean is that it was attacking his ear and Zabini was swatting at it frantically and making himself look like even more of a moron than usual!

Malfoy sped his broom towards Zabini but Spinnet (the Gryffindor Seeker) was quicker and snatched the Snitch right out from underneath Malfoy's slimy little nose. Needless to say, the whole stadium erupted in cheers (well, the _Slytherins_ didn't but we're ignoring them now) and the Gryffindors touched down just in time to be jumped on by every non-Slytherin student and several teachers. Somehow (and I have no idea how this happened!) I managed to find James in the midst of the commotion; he was in the centre of it all with the rest of the team, still sat on his broom. He spotted me and shouted my name. I always remember how perfect it sounded coming from his mouth; it kinda sounded like my name was being smothered in chocolate (make what you will of that, any dirty minded wizards among you!). I pushed my way through the throng of students until I reached him. His hand grabbed my arm and pulled my onto his broom then, kicking off from the ground, we rose in the air above everyone, so that we had a perfect view of the school. His hair looked as perfectly windswept as it always did and he rumpled it a bit more for what I'd like to think of as _dramatic effect_. I moved his hand away and replaced it with my own (I swear to Merlin, if James Potter's hair is ever neat, it will be a sign of the coming Apocalypse) and, without any warning whatsoever, he pulled me towards me and crushed his lips against mine. It was…_incredible_; there's no other word to describe it. The wolf whistles went on for _days!_

However, as I was about to find out, not _all_ Gryffindor guys are _quite_ as romantic as Hogwarts' resident Casanova…

~*~

I pushed Sirius away from me as gently as I could. I didn't understand what was going on with us but I knew that I needed to get my thoughts in order before any of the…_kissing_…happened again. I was right to be worried because no sooner than I'd pulled away, Sirius' hands were groping my waist; pulling me towards him again, his eyes staring intensely into mine. I shook my head; it couldn't happen again.

"_Sirius…" _I whispered, momentarily forgetting that I've never called him by his first name before.

"_You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that, Lupin." _His voice was quiet, not the blazing anger that had been there before. I'd never heard him using that tone before.

"_We can't, Black."_ I was trying (and failing) to be a bit more forceful.

"_Why not?" _He whined. I hate how much he looks like his animangus form when he's trying to make me feel bad…he has an unfair advantage in the puppy-dog eyes stakes.

"_Because we hate each other, remember?"_ I shouldn't have to remind him of this, really.

"_I've never said that I hated you, Lupin…" _Slimy git.

"_Oh come on, Black. You have _way_ too much fun making my life a misery to _not _hate me. You didn't need to clarify _anything_."_

"_Ever heard the phrase, 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen', Lupin?"_

"_Nice try, Black, but I'm not Macmillan." _Rachael Macmillan is the biggest slut in the entire school and Sirius is a frequent visitor to the nether-regions of her skirts.

"_Ouch! As if I would _ever_ think that!" _he said with mock indignation. _Player. _When he saw my unimpressed expression, he said, _"Look, Lupin, I want to spend some time with you, get to know you a bit better…"_

"_You spend time with me every day, Black. The only way you could possibly _'get to know me better'_ is in the biblical sense and I don't need to take Divination to tell you that that particular eventuality is _never_ gonna be on the cards."_

"_Way to shoot me down, Lupin. I never said I wanted that from you…I'd like to try and be more than that…"_ Was he…no way, not possible.

"_I think we both know that's gonna be impossible for both of us. Whatever you try, it's just gonna be…_this_ all over again."_ I have to be realistic about this.

"_Ok. If that's the way you want it, Lupin…" _and his lips and connected to mine again and as my coherent thoughts dissolved, I found myself wondering when I agreed to anything. This was becoming a habit…

~*~

Potions was a nightmare. Slughorn had it in for me for putting his Quidditch captain in the Hospital Wing and disrupting Slytherin's Cup hopes (not that they ever really had a chance in the first place) and, of course, Sirius saw it as a perfect opportunity to flaunt his ability to make me lose my train of thought.

Of course, we weren't a _couple_ in the normal sense of the word and so we didn't act like it. We decided that we shouldn't tell anyone…well, when I say _we_, I meant Sirius-for some reason; he didn't want anyone to know about us…not that I was complaining, of course. The less said about this situation, the better. Except that this meant we had to meet in secret. It all felt very much like a badly planned affair.

After Potions, he grabbed my arm and whispered; _"Flitwick's classroom. Ten minutes."_

I went upstairs and hung around with the rest of the gang in the Great Hall for a few minutes before making my excuses and heading over to the Charms corridor. No sooner than I opened the door and Sirius' arms were around me, pulling me towards him insistently. As his lips attacked mine and his hands worked their magic, I mused that _patience_ probably isn't a virtue he's heard of.

We completely lost track of time but it didn't really matter; no one was due in their lessons for another hour. Of course, what we _didn't_ plan for was my brother deciding that he wasn't content to only do the ten rolls of parchment on the properties of the silencing charmthat Flitwick had set us for homework, and wanted to see him about some extra work. As a result, he didn't see Flitwick…what he _did_ see was his best friend undoing the buttons on my shirt…not _exactly_ what I wanted him to walk in on.

"_Moony…" _Sirius started to say, but Remus cut him of.

"_That's my _sister_, Sirius!"_ he growled.

"_I know. I know. It's not what it looks like, honestly." _What the _hell _sort of a defence did he think _that_ was when anyone could plainly see that my lip gloss was smeared all over our faces and my shirt was open! I hastily buttoned myself up again and tried to fix my hair.

"_So you just fell onto each other's faces, then?"_

"_Ree…"_ I knew I had to step in because Sirius was looking at me pleadingly.

"_I don't want to hear it, Ebony." _I fell silent. I wouldn't have known what to say anyway.

"_I told you before, Sirius. Keep your hands off her. We had an agreement!"_ An _'agreement'?_ What's that supposed to mean?

"_I'm sorry, Remus, I really am. It just…_happened._"_

"_Was this the first time it _'happened'_, then? You both looked very practiced at it…" _Both Sirius and I looked sheepishly at each other.

"_Didn't think so."_

"_Hey, I'm sixteen! I'm allowed to choose what I do and who I do it with! I don't need to ask for your permission, Remus!"_

"_Um…I kinda need his permission…" _muttered Sirius, watching Remus nervously.

"_Fine. Do what you want, Black." _I stormed off, slamming the door behind me.

I don't need Sirius Black to make me happy.

~*~

I was on prefect duty that night and, as I was patrolling the corridors leading to the North Tower, I heard someone crying. Obviously, I had to see what the problem so I pulled out the Marauders' Map that I'd pinched from Ree's bag earlier and tapped it with my wand.

"_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." _I whispered and at once, Hogwarts' passages and it's inhabitants appeared in sepia coloured ink, indicating that most of the students and teachers were in bed, apart from the other prefects and…_'James Potter'. _I was standing about two classrooms away from where he was so I walked over and opened the door carefully. He was curled up in a ball, leaning against one of the desks and clutching an empty bottle of Firewhiskey.

"_James?"_ He lifted his head and looked at me, but it felt more like he was looking _through_ me. His eyes were ringed with red blotches; it looked like I'd found the source of the crying noises.

"_James? What's wrong?"_ I asked.

"_Lily,"_ he hiccupped.

"_What about her?"_

"_She broke up with me." _He dissolved into fresh tears and I crouched down next to him, winding my arms around him.


End file.
